Below is the exercise you need to fill out to manage your mind.
The definition of conscious insecurity is this: If X happens then Y happens if Y happens then Z happens and if Z happens the whole world falls apart.
This insecurity & fear loop is what makes us desperate to avoid some things. And it unconsciously drives about 90 % of everything we do, through emotions and impulses.
The same goes on in our mind about thing we are desperate to achieve. We think that if X happens then Y happens that leads to Z. And Z results in what we want and if we don’t get this then everything is lost.
Insecurity and desperation comes from a feeling of wanting and needing something (from the outside world) so so bad. Or wanting to avoid something we think stands in the way of what we want.
Can we really GET anything?
There is really nothing from the outside world we can get, so to speak, because everything comes from within or from our brain.
We told our self a story about our self or the world around us when we created our first limiting beliefs.
Only we can tell a different story.
The things we want so bad or want so bad to avoid are symbols that our conscious brain grabbed to intellectualise and understand our feelings. They are the practical solution to our emotional problems.
Our emotional problem is always this: we want and need to feel a loving bond with our children and husbands. We obtain this when we feel connection.
The definition of empathy: “Ability to see things from someone else’s perspective and forgetting about ourselves completely.” – Brené Brown
Have enough empathy towards yourself to fill in the blanks to discover your insecurity:
If_______________________then __________ ________will happen.
If ______________________ happens then __________________will happen. Continue the loop until you get an ah-ha .
This is what it looked like for me when I did this exercise.
If we don’t get out of the door at 7:05 we won’t be in school at 7:30. If I am not in school at 7:30 then Oliver (my son) won’t have a good morning, because his teacher says so and I can see that to.
If he doesn’t get to school by 7:30 AM he wont be able to do his morning routines and get to “morgensang” gathering where they sing a song. If he doesnt get to that then he wont start the day in a good way. So if that happens then he will have a bad day.
Then I have failed as a mother.
I need to do this one thing, to undo all the wrongs I have done to him. I needed to relief my bad consicousness and do this to give him a good day.
I realized that my militaristic morning routine was from guilt and wanting so so bad to do this one thing right because the teacher had told me he did not have a good day if he wasn’t in school at 7:30.
I was making war to make love, once more.