Promise me to do this one thing! Don’t moan your losses, celebrate your wins
What you cultivate grows.
When I was 27 I realized that I had been cultivating my own depression for years.
I thought writing about my emotions was a way to process them and “get over it”. I simply didn’t know what else to do, and at least journaling was an action I could take at any time.
I will never forget that moment when I looked down at the pen in my hand, saw the blue writing on my paper, and realized: “OMG I am making these emotions permanent by writing about them.”
My emotion I was writing about was almost always a broken heart, with a lot of different faces attached to it. I knew since I was 21 that no matter whom I projected my heart break onto it stemmed from my mother.
That day I learned that what I thought would “set me free” kept me in prison. I was dwelling on my emotions and it was not making me feel any better.
In A Prison of my Own Emotions
It began when I was in love at 15 and found myself writing down my emotions. Not in any poetic way, I just had to get them “out” somehow. I was writing on a piece of carton from a box of food in my tent at Europe’s largest rock festival called “Roskilde”.
From that day onwards I wrote about my emotions for over 10 years. I had been in heartache for as long as I could remember.
Suddenly, in my apartment at age 27, I had the huge realization that when I wrote my emotions onto a piece of paper I manifested them.
They grew because I nurtured them with ink and the act of writing it down.
They grew because I looked at them and reread them out loud. There was no better way to make them STAY then what I was doing!
I stopped writing about my emotions immediately. I wrote hundreds of poems from age 16 to 27, but I dont think I have completed a poem since that realization.
Thinking about and analyzing my heartbreak didn’t free me from it, it did the opposite.
Now I focus on my wins and, if I have a challenging emotion come up I look at how it’s actually serving me and my vision. The uncomfortable situations are the best teachers. But NOT if you dwell on them and stay focused on them.
I have always been in a prison of my own emotions I just didn’t know how to unlock it.
This is the key: Don’t moan your losses, celebrate your wins.