The Problem And The Solution Are The Same

I hear the rational mind of my female clients all the time: “this has to stop” or “we have to be able to talk about it” or “I have to be able to mention the mess,”  or other practicalities .

Trust me, I get it I do.

I also know for a fact that it is not serving you to have these conversations with your self or your friends. We choose which stories we tell ourselves, and what we see is what we get.

We try to fix the practical things in our relationship when there is really something deeper going on.

You  have to TRUST that he will fix what he needs to, in his own time.

Remember to stay on your own turf don’t be on his thinking about what he should and shouldn’t do. Instead focus on Choosing Love, Not War….

When Does “His Own Time” Begin?

His own time begins as soon as you stop looking at his bad habits and try to fix your own.

Start with the stories you tell your self. Don’t tell yourself you married a looser. Tell a wining story about love.

You can be sure of this one fact:  As long as you are focusing on what he needs to improve, he is not focusing on it.

The fast route to get what you want is to think about how you can create a connection. How can you Choose Love, Not War……?

The problem and the solution is always this: connection.

If you’re like me, then self-destructive behaviour (addiction) plays a role in your


Addiction is the opposite of connection, so look inside to see the habits that get in the way of connection with love.

When you remove these habits for example verbal garbage, the passage for love to flow to and from you is cleared.

Ask Not What Your Partner Can Do For You But What You Can Do For Your Partner.

Here is a guide to help manage your mind.


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1 Comment

  1. You couldn’t have sent this at a better time. I get so burnt out with all the extra work that sometimes the love is hard to find. I want to go to the beach and have a day off.🌸😋🌺🍷

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